Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
