brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
