they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
