bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
