i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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