Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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