There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
