i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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