You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
