I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
