its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
