i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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