We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
