I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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