I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
