i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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