Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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