How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
