Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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