so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I love you. Go after that dick
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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