we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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