he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
