I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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