marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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