Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
