Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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