So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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