I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
