He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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