So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
