my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
