im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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