So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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