Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
