It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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