I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
