God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
