Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just invented taco cereal.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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