the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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