it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
there is glitter all over my balls
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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