Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
