Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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