I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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