honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
