i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
