this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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