I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
