Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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