The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
