My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
