Im at strip club and am horny
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
