I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
