She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
