Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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