Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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